Oh hey! If you wondered what you should be terrified of today, it’s not an increasingly unstable world order, the unavoidable effects of climate change, or that weird mole on your thigh. Nope—now you have to worry about snakes coiling themselves around the blades of ceiling fans and waiting there for you, undetected.
Over the weekend, a party at the Backyard Bar Stage and Grill in Waco, Texas was briefly interrupted when someone noticed that a FUCKING SNAKE was wrapped around the fan. Two unidentified bartenders were given a broom and forced to deal with it (and even if they were allowed to empty the contents of the cash register into their pockets that night, they still wouldn’t have made enough to deal with this level of bullshit).
Maria Ochoa, a patron at the bar, posted a different video of the encounter on Facebook. “OMG were here at Backyard for my [sister’s] anniversary and we’ve been sitting under this fan for about an hour before we noticed this on the fan,” she wrote. “OMG.”
O-M-G is right. As someone yelled “Oh my God,” and others screamed, he tentatively reached for the snake. “Grab his head!” several guys who had not been asked to grab the snake’s head shouted. Several very tense moments follow as one restaurant employee pushes the fan blades—and the snake—toward the other.
Ochoa told KWTX that some of the partygoers had noticed the snake earlier in the evening, but debated whether it was real or not. “I grabbed my mother’s cane and I kind of poked it, and it moved a little. The body,” she said. “And they said ‘No, it’s just rubber, you’re just moving it.’ Then I poked it again and the head moved.”
That’s when two staffers were called in to deal with it, and when amateur herpetologists started yelling “GRAB HIS HEAD” from the other side of the room. Ochoa said that one of the men was bitten by the snake, but was “OK.” (OK, other than that whole ‘bitten by a snake that was hanging from a ceiling fan’ thing, nbd). A woman who identified herself as a Backyard employee said that it was a rat snake, which is nonvenomous. BUT STILL.
“Shit,” one woman spat as the snake was carried out of the room. Yeah, our thoughts exactly.
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